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Flip-flops: Not Good Enough

August 7, 2009


Unless you’re rushing to the bodega for a six pack of beer before closing time, flip-flops in NYC are beyond stupid. Why the eff would you willingly expose your feet to all the unimaginable shit that graces our streets? Not to mention the “preemies” who start padding around in them the day the calendars read March 21st.

Aside from the general filth and smog there are sure to be remnants of every bodily fluid strewn about the city. Whether you spend the day in the park or on the streets, after one day in flip-flops you can be sure your feet will be peppered with urine and fecal matter. Your sooty feet and the subsequent unscathed outline of where your sandal strap sat will continue to remind you what a nice outing you’ve had.

The only upside to flip-flops is watching people trip in them , which is hilarious. There’s nothing that makes me slap my knee harder than a little unintended physical comedy. Plus it’ll make you forget all about the douchebag in the inappropriate footwear.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. A. Strung permalink*
    August 10, 2009 5:09 pm

    The thing I always want to say to these people is “What if you have to RUN?”

  2. LindaAnn permalink
    August 14, 2009 4:11 pm

    Yeah. And the spit! There are always big nasty-ass globs of spit on the sidewalks, too. I love flip-flops, but honestly, wearing them in the city is like … walking barefoot through the overfull kitty-litter box!

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