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Money can’t buy you talent

May 14, 2010

I was watching The Real Housewives of NY and one of the ladies referred to as “The Countess” (because she was married to a Count at some point only now they’re divorced so technically she’s lost her rights to Countessness) decided she wanted to record a song because she loved singing into her hairbrush as a little girl. So she buys time with some ass-kissy producer in a $300 dollar an hour studio to record one of the worst songs in history. ¬†Lyrically, it was meant to be a social commentary about people in her privileged circle who despite their great wealth apparently have no class thus titling the song “money can’t buy you class” only on the refrain it is pronounced more like “money can’t buy you cla-ass”. To hear it is to believe it. This woman cannot sing. I suppose it’s not the first time a person with little vocal talent has decided to record a song and put it on i-tunes (no, not me…). But they then, of course, smothered her voice in that electronic effect to mask the foul stench of what she actually sounds like, turning the song into another robotic creation. And a poorly produced one at that.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. A. Strung permalink*
    May 14, 2010 10:39 am

    Holy smokes that sounds like a man, too. It sounds like Tim Gunn’s evil twin.

  2. May 14, 2010 11:55 am

    Just before charging, the ranking officer of the Light Brigade made sure everyone had auto-tune on.

    This sounds like a worsterer B-side on a bad drag-queen forgettable dance single.

  3. A. Strung permalink*
    May 14, 2010 3:58 pm

    I loved the Da Lench Mob album though I don’t remember much of it. That song, without listening was ****ing awesome and I had completely forgotten about it. It has the guy from Cypress Hills right, and he says “moms aint got no class” or something. I love songs where someone insults their mother.

  4. A. Strung permalink*
    May 14, 2010 4:01 pm

    Ok I just listened to it … Better than ever! “go buy ya mothafuckin kids a happy meal”

  5. ladeerayne permalink
    May 14, 2010 5:43 pm

    “Tim Gunn’s evil twin.” Haha. Is that even possible? He’s filled with such goodness and light I can hardly imagine.

    • A. Strung permalink*
      May 14, 2010 6:10 pm

      Exactly. He’s so benign all the bad stuff must be somewhere. I say in that song.

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