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Lessons learned

October 18, 2011

When I read a headline today “Bernanke has learned his lessons from the 2008 crisis” my initial thought was “fuck that bearded ass face.  He is satan himself, hell bent on destruction whom even jesus himself would punch in the neck.”

But I settled down and thunk to myself – Everybody deserves a second chance right? Michael Vick, DSK, Roman Polanski, Woody Allen and even Mel Gibson.  If we can overlook puppy killing, maid and adolescent raping Jew haters – we can forgive a simple monetarist, trying to save the world who lost their way…  And he must be truly sorry – particularly for fucking savers and screwing the elderly 3 years running 

Shattered about perpetuating moral hazard as illustrated here
And here 

Somewhat down about allowing banks to screw taxpayers

Regrets single handedly inspiring the OWS and “day of rage” protests by way of pretending banks are not arms of the Govt.

Down and out about leaving the country at risk by lending vs junk collateral and tripling the size of the balance sheet, guaranteeing inflation and/or massive losses which he deems “optimal”

Remorseful about back door (and front door) bailouts

Seeking atonement for smashing capitalism

So here is the moment we’ve all been waiting for.  Without further ado I present the apology:

“Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke says a key lesson learned from the 2008 financial crisis is that central banks must have a dual goal of maintaining inflation while supporting the banking system. ”

WHAT??? THIS CAN’T be right.. Oh for the love of Pete.

“Bernanke said the steps the Fed took during the crisis proved to be successful.”

Successful. Good God make it stop. Please make it stop.
 
“Bernanke also noted that the Fed helped calm markets by lowering short-term interest rates to record lows and expanded its portfolio of Treasury and mortgage-backed securities to push long-term rates lower. Bernanke said it’s a trend that will increase in the future.”

Lord help us..

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